hello to all that may read my little journal here.
from my last journal i mention that at the begining of the year i had fallen apart with several embrassing breakdowns in public, things happen i'm sure you know so i wont go into that, but i'm am very pleased and happy to annouce that it's all over with and in the past. and it all started two months ago with me passing my driving test with 3 minors, over 14 minors is a failed test.
at the time i was low on confidence, always unhappy, i had no motivation to do anything creative with my craft, no motivation for my career and no motivation to live, i was just being alive.
after i's passed the test so well, everything opened up, my confidence to do well was back and i was ready to do something. luckily for me that somthing did come along that really really really
changed me. earlier this year a friend at the theare group i'm part of, passed on my details to Dorset Opera, i've always been vocal with my dream of being a costume designer, she, this friend, thought that i would be a good to help there.
Dorset Opera www.dorsetopera.com/08/index.s… www.dorsetopera.com/08/welcome…
is a opera group that is a mixed of paided and volunteers, it's all done at brynston school in south england, dorset (thusly named dorset
opera!)....you know, they can explain it better then me, here's a quote from the site; What's Dorset Opera all about?
Hailed by critics as spirited, plucky, enterprising, phenomenal, spectacular and magnificent, Dorset Opera has consistently thrilled opera lovers since 1974. This is no mean achievement for a company based in a small and largely rural county. But the truly remarkable thing that distinguishes Dorset Opera is the way it brings together experienced and often internationally acclaimed professionals to work with a mainly young amateur chorus and stage crew, educating and inspiring them, to produce work of extraordinary quality.
... and i was a part of that, i was working with and around the designer, the director, the soloist and the choros. you have no idea how proud i am because i was part of it. it also gave me myself, and for the first time ever i was where i wanted to be and couldn't be happier.
this years performace was Cavalleria rusticana and Pagliacci. ''This double-bill is ideal for newcomers to opera. Cav & Pag are awash with well-known music. Audiences will thrill to the Easter Hymn, the Intermezzo, and the arias from Cav. Equally famous is the Prologue from Pag (which is in every baritone's repertoire), and the heart-rending tenor aria Vesti la giubba
(On with the motley) is sure to leave a tear in the eye.
some of people stayed at the school for the two weeks but some people like me are local, so drive in. it's amazing really the great varity of people that were there, one of the great people i meet was the singer Christine Groeneveld who performed santuzza in CAV, her's was the perfomace that sticks in my mind, her voice too was so beautiful and powerful and so raw with the emotions of the song, i have to admit that i did have some tears pricking my eyes.
i had worked in the costume department before the opening and dressing during the performances. i made pieces to be warn, help mend cotumes brought in borrowed, and made props made of fabric. i remember that there was one really really big arse curtain that i had to make for CAV, 3m by 6m, it was a bitch to stich i'll tell you now! actually, almost all the thinga i made were in CAV.... any who *shrug*. the building i worked in were very beautiful too. by the theare at the back was our building, it was wood and glass materials, L shaped with wood surounding us, beautiful really.
the perfomaces were fun too because as i said i was dressing, and that means that i was in the chaging rooms making sure that all the chorus looked how they were ment too. i started in the girls changing rooms but somehow, and i really don't know how it came to be but i ended up by the last performace, in the mens changing room. *sigh* wasn't all that great really, the men stank to high hell and i half the time i was shouting at them to tuck in their shirts. Ros, the head of costume, actually had her hand down the mens trousers tucking in the shirts herself, haha now that was something i wasn't going to and everyone laugh after me saying as such. it was fun
also one of the many great people i meet was Robert J.S. web.mac.com/robert_james/iWeb/…
he did alot of the tailoring of the jackets especially made for the male soloists. one sunday we got chatting and i found out the he'd just finished the uni course that i was aiming for, costume for stage and screen at the arts uni in bournemouth. at this point i had been thinking about aiming for it again and he quieted some fears andthe like. it was cool to talk to some one that had been throught the course.
but yea' it was a time i'm never ever ever
going to forget, nor am i going to forget the amazing people i meet and worked with. i have the drive to do somthing with myself now, all the problems i had are gone. forgotten.
i've manage to grown up again and now i'm going to be living my life and not just be alive anymore.
but before i go i need to apologuse to a dear friend from across the world with a love of dr who. to you i'm sorry for what i haven't done, which i feel is everything, i wasn't there as a friend in this country when i should have been. i am, to the very pits of my healing heart, sorry. i'm sure you know who you are and if you'd let me, please contact me and i can tell you about the things i should have trusted you with when told i no one else. i'm okay now, me again and i now feel that i've done you wrong. please e-mail me if you read this.